Start a Conversation
The very first thing you must do to make friends is to get into a conversation with the person who is a potential friend. In order to do this, the chances are that you are going to have to be the one to speak first, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Keep in mind that the other person is probably feeling the same way.
Ask Open Ended Questions
The easiest way to get into a conversation with somebody is to just ask a question. Not the type of question that can be answered yes or no, but an open ended question that keeps them talking. You also want to show a lot of genuine interest in what they say. Here is an example of a simple yes or no question that is best to avoid. “Does the bus usually get here on time?” Now, here is an open ended question. “Why do you think people paint graffiti on buses?,” or “how do you manage to stay so fit?” You can ask about their clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, or perhaps their opinion of a new movie.
Show Genuine Interest
You must listen with interest. You can interrupt with an occasional question. Surprisingly, the person who does all the talking will always consider their interested listener to be a great conversationalist. Finally, be pleasant and make a sincere effort to like the person your talking with. One tip is to pretend you are speaking for the first time to a family relative you have never met. The other person will pick up on this genuine friendliness too in the way you speak and your body language. Don’t be afraid to show your smile. Smiling is a great way of showing that you want to be friends. Also, don’t be a “know it all” type person. Sometimes it is better to say “I don’t know,” rather than disagree.
Every encounter will not turn into a friendship, but keep at it and before you know it you will be looking for a little peace and quiet from all your new friends.
Do you have any good tips on making friends? Please share them in the comments below.
Imagine that you are walking down a dark street at night. Suddenly there is the sound of running footsteps in back of you. You are not sure of what is about t happen. Your pulse speeds up, your breathing quickens and deepens, your blood pressure increases to have more blood flow to the muscles. For the moment your are in what is known as the fight or flight mechanism of the nervous system.
Now imagine a voice calls out to you from the direction of the running feet and says, “Slow down, I just want to return your wallet. You left it on the store counter when you were here.”
Your pulse and breathing begins to slow down. Your blood pressure decreases and there is probably a smile on your face. The only thing that has really happened is a change in your perception of the situation. It is of course agreed that the change in perception was justified. But this little story does illustrate the importance of perception in maintaining normal blood pressure.
There are many causes for high blood pressure. Some are purely physical and others are based upon wrongful perceptions a person has of the world and people around them. These misconceptions are often based upon fear and anger. It is of course possible for the problem to be a combination of he physical and the psychological.
A very rewarding way to lower blood pressure through psychological means is to use the concept of being non-judgmental. What is meant by this is that you do not have to agree with what is said, but you accept it as the other persons point of view. Since it is their point view there is no need for any anger. Being non-judgmental has the additional benefit of allowing you to remain stoic , when given bad restaurant service as an example, thereby avoiding a rise in blood pressure.
This personality test is done with an ordinary deck of playing cards.
It is interesting to learn about the personality traits of the people we know. One of the ways to do this is by asking questions such as, “Are you ambitious or do you like to be around people?” The answers given may not be accurate because the person you ask may want to be thought of in a certain way, that is not their real personality. This is why non verbal tests are used.
Here is how the test is done. From an ordinary deck of cards select twelve cads. These will be put into 3 face up groups of 4 cards each, so the person taking the test can see all the cards at the same time . The first group will have Jack, Queen and 2 Kings. The second group will have 8,9 9, 10 and the third group will have 2,3,3,4. Try to get an equal number of red and black cards in each group. You then ask the subject to point to the group they feel most like themselves.
If the subject picks the group with the Jack, Queen and Kings it indicates they have a desire for wealthy, fancy, upper class living and activities. From this test alone you cannot determine whether or not they have the ambition to get what they desire.
If the subject selects the group the has the 8,9,9,10 it demonstrates they do not dream of great wealth as the first group mentioned but with to be comfortable moneywise and would not be satisfied if they were poor.
If the subject picks the the playing card group 2,3,3,4 it indicates a preference for low numbers which also tends to mean things and possessions of low value. Possibly because they are less troublesome than things of high value. This person has no lofty desires and is satisfied with less.