It is not unusual to see and hear a young child have a crying melt down while the parents are standing there looking embarrassed. One reason for this crying is that little children often have no other way of expressing themselves.
Another and probably more significant reason is that being on a trip or vacation they find themselves in unfamiliar surroundings. Where you as an adult may look at your new environment with interest to the young child it might be frightening.
Imagine that you are at Disney World and had never before seen any of the Disney characters. Suddenly, a five foot mouse, with big ears, a squeaky voice, walking upright, approaches you and says, “Hello, my name is Mickey.” No one would blame you for being a little upset. Think how a little kid feels in unfamiliar surroundings. Young children need and thrive in stable environments. They are uncomfortable in airports, planes, trains and busses as well as restaurants, movie theaters, stores and dozens of other places.
The best thing you can do to avoid the crying is to tell the child where they will be going tomorrow. Tell them what they are going to see and what fun things they should look for. As you arrive at the places you told them about remind them of your discussion. Another words, based on your conversation as to what they will be seeing you are making them seem more familiar.
Start a Conversation
The very first thing you must do to make friends is to get into a conversation with the person who is a potential friend. In order to do this, the chances are that you are going to have to be the one to speak first, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Keep in mind that the other person is probably feeling the same way.
Ask Open Ended Questions
The easiest way to get into a conversation with somebody is to just ask a question. Not the type of question that can be answered yes or no, but an open ended question that keeps them talking. You also want to show a lot of genuine interest in what they say. Here is an example of a simple yes or no question that is best to avoid. “Does the bus usually get here on time?” Now, here is an open ended question. “Why do you think people paint graffiti on buses?,” or “how do you manage to stay so fit?” You can ask about their clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, or perhaps their opinion of a new movie.
Show Genuine Interest
You must listen with interest. You can interrupt with an occasional question. Surprisingly, the person who does all the talking will always consider their interested listener to be a great conversationalist. Finally, be pleasant and make a sincere effort to like the person your talking with. One tip is to pretend you are speaking for the first time to a family relative you have never met. The other person will pick up on this genuine friendliness too in the way you speak and your body language. Don’t be afraid to show your smile. Smiling is a great way of showing that you want to be friends. Also, don’t be a “know it all” type person. Sometimes it is better to say “I don’t know,” rather than disagree.
Every encounter will not turn into a friendship, but keep at it and before you know it you will be looking for a little peace and quiet from all your new friends.
Do you have any good tips on making friends? Please share them in the comments below.
Imagine that you are walking down a dark street at night. Suddenly there is the sound of running footsteps in back of you. You are not sure of what is about t happen. Your pulse speeds up, your breathing quickens and deepens, your blood pressure increases to have more blood flow to the muscles. For the moment your are in what is known as the fight or flight mechanism of the nervous system.
Now imagine a voice calls out to you from the direction of the running feet and says, “Slow down, I just want to return your wallet. You left it on the store counter when you were here.”
Your pulse and breathing begins to slow down. Your blood pressure decreases and there is probably a smile on your face. The only thing that has really happened is a change in your perception of the situation. It is of course agreed that the change in perception was justified. But this little story does illustrate the importance of perception in maintaining normal blood pressure.
There are many causes for high blood pressure. Some are purely physical and others are based upon wrongful perceptions a person has of the world and people around them. These misconceptions are often based upon fear and anger. It is of course possible for the problem to be a combination of he physical and the psychological.
A very rewarding way to lower blood pressure through psychological means is to use the concept of being non-judgmental. What is meant by this is that you do not have to agree with what is said, but you accept it as the other persons point of view. Since it is their point view there is no need for any anger. Being non-judgmental has the additional benefit of allowing you to remain stoic , when given bad restaurant service as an example, thereby avoiding a rise in blood pressure.
Being fired is mentally traumatic for almost everyone. After all we spend at least one third of our day working or preparing for work. Adding to the trauma is that suddenly you have to look for other sources for money.
The various State Legislatures have tried to even things up and give the employee some rights when they are wrongfully terminated. Here is how things work, but keep in mind you really need an Attorney to explain them to you because they vary from State to State.
If you are what is known as an employee at will the boss can let you go for almost any reason as long as the reason is not illegal. An employee at will is a person who is working for the company but doesn’t have a written contract with the company. The courts however very often find a contract between the parties based upon the conduct of the company. When you are a contract employee you can only be fired for good cause.
Keep in mind, that even if you are an employee at will you can’t be fired for any of these illegal reasons: Race, Nationality, Religion, Sex, Age, Sexual Orientation, Retaliation, Refusing to Commit an Illegal Act, (in a few States) Pregnancy, Medical Condition and Disability. Being fired for any of these illegal reasons may net you a pretty penny.
If there is a manual governing hiring and firing procedure it must be followed by the employer. Issues of vacation pay and severance packages are always negotiable.
Lets assume that you have been involved in an accident that was not you fault and your Attorney has negotiated a settlement. But by the time you pay the Doctor he sent you to and then pay the Attorney his one third there is not very much left over for you. To make matters even worse, you probably signed a retainer agreement with the attorney agreeing to the one third or forty percent if he has to go to court.
You might consider having the Attorney ask the Doctor to lower his bill, in order to get you more money out of the settlement. But if the two of them are good friends not much is going to happen.
Here is what you could do. Tell the Attorney you are not happy with the settlement. He can’t accept it without your approval. Then let him know that if he can’t do better with a settlement you want to go to court. This is probably something your Attorney doesn’t want to do because he managed this settlement with a few simple phone calls, and now he may have to spend days in Court for just a few dollars more. Also, his friend the Doctor will have to spend some time coming to Court and testifying.
The Attorney is legally required to go forward with your case to Court, which of course he doesn’t want to do. So as he puts pressure on you to settle, simply suggest he cut his one third to twenty five percent and the Doctor cut his bill also. If your Attorney refuses, always keep in mind that when you reach those Court House steps the insurance company might very well increase their offer of settlement.